....Take a gander at Pinko Feminist Hellcat's contribution to the lynching party for RKB and all other sex-positives who apparantly are contaminating and poisoning the feminist movement:
Some of us are dog tired of hearing about how we've got problems if we're bothered by the fact that women are almost always put in submissive positions, degraded, and derided in the name of sex. Some of us are not particularly jazzed by the rigid and puritanical sex roles assigned to women--women sell sex (and get power! Whee! Nothing like that kind of power, George Bush, eat your heart out!) and men buy it.
You'll just have to forgive me for noting that it's practically unheard of for the reverse to happen, even though women do like sex, do like sex without commitment, and do appreciate hot men.
What's seen as sexual for women is a bore. Am I oppressive and mean for saying that? Tough. Cope.
A blog post by Twisty (who was trying to stir things up and succeeded) does not make this a world that forbids the kind of sex you want to have, though, as Amanda points out, it sure would be nice if "sex" for women included more than forgoing it or being submissive, enthusiastic about facials, or so male centered in the act that you may as well not have a sodding clitoris. That's the "full range?" How unimaginative. How stale. How boring.
Not that there's anything wrong with that! Oh, lordy, heaven forbid I maybe mention that many women are dissatisfied with the dearth of options available to us in the world of sexuality. But for once, I'd like to see an acknowledgment from supposed sex radicals that women can be sexual without being submissive, that it's okay to not particularly like or want to engage in some of the sex acts out there (facials come to mind), and that in fact, not liking them doesn't make you frigid, or anti-sex, or whatever, and that the diversity of sexuality should extend to women and our pleasure. Instead, we're treated to finger-wagging over oppressive and mean feminists who would take your right to get on your knees away from you. It's pretty telling that articles that focus on feminism and sex focus on submissiveness, and our right! hard won right! to be submissive and degraded.
[...]
Because, really, why acknowledge that some women--hell, a lot of women--are left unsatisfied, marginalized, and derided in the world of status quo sex? Since when is critiquing the small box reserved for women in the world of sex a bad thing?
I'd like to see some acknowledgment that porn is male-centered, the so-called "sex" industry is male centered (it's not like Heidi Fleiss is getting a warm welcome by Nevada brothels, since women paying for sex is just so! unheard ofl! but men paying for it is just ducky) that the sexual double standard is poison to women and influences our choices and desires, and that we'll never be truly open and sexual and free as long as sexual women are derided as whores, raped women are dismissed, and women who want sex on our terms (not Hugh Hefners, Larry Flynt's, or Joe Everyman's) are marginalized.
Wanna know one reason why [Heidi] Fleiss is having such a problem with her dog house for women (besides the brothel association flipping out)? Prostitutes are defined as she in Nevada. Think about that. Women as servers, men as consumers. That's not completely messed up? It's what, radical to accept this? To say that women serving and men consuming is the norm and acceptable and questioning it is oppressive? Forgive me for being feminist and calling BS on that.
All of this blathering on and on about frigid feminists out to oppress the free-thinking radical bohos out there--enough already. It's tiresome and stale. (As is the insistence that all feminists are total sluts--antifems, please get your stories straight. You scamps are funny when you froth, but the rhetoric is getting old).
This kind of pseudo-sex positivity is stifling. I mean, what are my options, exactly? Pulling trains, getting dominated, and getting facials, or celibacy? No thanks. It's getting a little stuffy in the box you'd like to lock me into. And you can bite me if you don't like it and want to declare me either frigid or a slut for looking askance at this messed up set of standards for women.
And the coup-de-grace comes from Witchy-Woo, who finally reads sex positives their pink slips from the feminist movement without the two-week notices (This nuttiness deserves a full reading in its entirity):
To all pro-pornstitution 'feminists' out there...
...The best way to stop the global scourge of sexual slavery of women and girls is not to reduce men's slavering for warm, wet fuck holes but to offer oneself to the task.
How does that feel....thinking about that? Would you?
Would you choose that as a way to feed your kids, pay your bills, keep your particular wolf from the door?
No?
Why not?
So how come you kind of 'elect' and hide behind those women/girls who don't have the same level of choice that you do? Poor women, women of colour, drug/alcohol addicted women, girl children, teenage runaways, sexually abused in childhood women, etc. Women and girls whose humanity you should actually be fighting for - as feminists.
Instead, it seems to me, you're saying it's ok that these women/girls are in sexual slavery because it's somehow their choice. They're somehow 'living their dream'....or is it your dream? The phallic dream? I don't know. Whatever.
All I know is that you're not fighting for them. You're complicit in their destruction. You're colluding with patriarchy in dividing women into 'them' and 'us'.
So.....
I want to see every pro-pornstitution 'feminist' put her money where her mouth is (hah) and do a six month stint in the job (or send her daughter in if she's 'too old') before she tells me that it's 'ok' for any other woman/girl to go through it. And I want a report about how great it is to command such power and how it's touched and released her innate sexuality and re-formed her as a woman and made her feel sooooo good about herself she does talks about it to girls in junior schools.
Actually, I don't want any woman on this Earth to go through it but, hey, seems to me that some women need to properly understand exactly what feminism means.
If you're pro-pornography or pro-prostitution you are NOT a feminist. These institutions are the props of patriarchy and have nothing to do with women's self determination, ergo they are NOT feminist.
And to think that at one time I thought that I could have a reasonable debate with some people. (I was once accused by the very same Witchy-Woo of "butting in" to a debate over at Antiprincess' Paleofeminist blog on porn and feminism because I dared to respectfully criticize W-W's basic beliefs. Apparantly, being a man attempting to defend a feminist woman's right to choose her own sexual habits amounts to defending "sexual slavery" and rape.)
I'm not going to speak for other sex-radicals, but you can consider this Black Leftist man to be considered finished with these people. If this is what liberal feminism is becoming, then I want nothing to to with it any longer.
Memo to Witchy Woo and PFH: just join your ally RMildred in the "Fuck you" section of this blog. If you can't respect our beliefs, then the hell with you.
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6 comments:
Goddamn, I love you and all your recent posts.
Thank you for this link. I went and gave my opinion on this in her comments section though I'm pretty sure that it will just go completely over her head. As a woman with disabilities, I learned to see this topic a lot differently than I did when I was healthy and able to sit on my hill, looking down on all those who didn't live their life according to the "good girl" rules.
This is the same arrogance that I was talking about on my blog post that you responded to (By the way, thanks for the support). This idea that some one else can arbitrarily decide whether or not I'm a feminist is simply rubbish.
What if I decided that her use of the color pink disqualifies her as a feminist because, by using that color so abundantly, she's supporting the idea that all women really do love what the patriarchy has decided is a "girly color"? She could claim that she finds her blog empowering but what if I presented the same sort of argument as she made? I can simply proclaim that it doesn't matter whether or not she (and the small number of people who also support her decision to have a pink blog)found it empowering because
1.the majority of females who wear pink do so because they were forced to wear it by their oppressive patriarchy-enforcing parents
and
2.some people are truly harmed by the way that they've been forced to use "girly colors"
and even if she did choose to use pink
3.she and her supporters are incapable of making this decision freely given the subordination of women in our society.
If she refuses to stop supporting the use of the color pink by women, I can state that she's hiding behind all those people who have been harmed by being forced to wear pink.
We can do this with any decision that some one makes. It's patronizing to say that women aren't able to decide that they find it empowering to be a sex worker.
Brian: I like 'ya, and I do appreciate the props...but let's not get carried away here, O-kay??? I don't know you well enough to go that far....yet. heheh ;-)
Bint: Thanks to you too...and I just gave your article a full post and the linkage it deserves, like I should have done before RMildred got into my brain. Less kiss ass (except in the sexual arean, that is) and more KICK ASS could do the progressive/radical movement some good these days....and regular people like us have to be the foundation of the Next Left, since the elitists and the establishment just isn't cutting it.
If you ever need some backup, I have plenty cans of SmackDog Whupass in storage for 'ya anytime you need it...though, I figure that you can layeth the smack down pretty good yourself.
And since I lost my parents and my oldest brother to cancer in the last few years, I can almost understand what you are going through. Just stay strong and free while you are still on this earth; the higher beings will take good care of you after you are through.
Just keep bringing it.
Anthony
bint alshamsha - you're brilliant.
your response at Witchy's was awesome, and your comment here (re the color pink etc.) was spot on.
file it under "shit I wish I'd said."
Aww, y'all are making me blush! I'm glad there are others who believe that both women and men are capable of knowing what does and doesn't make them feel comfortable and happy with who they are.
And a pleasant good evening to you, too, Witchy.
Actually, I do happen to know the difference between a liberal and a radical feminist...and I did qualify my original statement with the word "if". In your rage, you might have missed that.
BTW...why wait a full two months to respond to this post just now???
And you do know that I have moved to a new place, do you?? If you feel like playing, please go there.
At least, I won't accuse you of "butting in" like you did to me at Antiprincess' blog.
Have a great evening.
Anthony
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